We all have secrets — the question is what YOU think is your deepest secret. What does it look like? Is it dark and shameful — the ugliest parts of your personality that only you know about, or is it something bright and beautiful?
The way you perceive your deepest secrets has direct impact on every part of your life. If indeed your deepest secrets are dark and foreboding, and cause you shame to the point that you would not want to share them with anybody, you can be sure that very awareness has real and profound implications.
Such a negative self-image exerts tremendous weight on your psyche — it erodes your self-esteem and drains your valuable resources as you work overtime to conceal your innermost shames. It affects your attitudes, choices and decision making process. How haunted are you by your fear of exposure, afraid that people would not respect you if they knew who you really are? How much wasted energy do you expend in hiding your darkest secrets?
At the end of the day, who you think you are is what you play out in your script. Your self-perception defines your narrative. What kind of life are you going to live if you think your deepest part is ugly? You may fight it, you may regret it and try to correct it, but your negative self-image will continuously tug at you and drag you down.
The first step in changing your life is changing your perception of yourself — and of your innermost secrets. You need to realize that the shameful secrets you are aware of are based on your limited experience and perception, and that in truth, there are a multitude of dimensions within you that you are not aware of. As long as you hold on to your past perception of your dark insides, you will be trapped by them. How could you ever become a better person without knowing who you truly are?
So who are you at the core of all cores? What is truly your deepest secret?
When you cut to the core, you will find a beautiful spirit ... a beautiful soul.
Why is that so distant from your perception? Because we don’t relate to that part of ourselves — we relate to the parts we have become accustomed to, the parts we escape to for relief. That becomes our so-called refuge. It’s often not a pleasant or beautiful place to look at.
But the truth is, the deepest secrets in life are actually the most beautiful parts: When you get to the bottom of the rabbit hole you are going to meet the real you, and the real you is a piece of the divine.
What’s your deepest secret? It’s up to you. The deepest secret is all the divine secrets that you carry inside yourself.
How then do you access the beautiful spirit within you? In two ways:
1) By studying and becoming aware of your own soul.
2) By acting and exercising your soul’s “muscles” through acts of generosity, gratitude, goodness and kindness. I know, easier said than done for some of us ...
When you study about your soul you discover the deepest parts of yourself– you then have something to work with. Discovering and learning about your soul is the way to discover your deepest hidden potential. Do you know all of your potential? (Nobody knows their full potential, since it is infinite.)
Learning about the soul opens up your heart to places you never would have reached on your own. Knowledge opens you to new experiences, and there is no way that you can grow and expand your horizons and spread your wings if you don’t know you have wings.
There is a whole reservoir of power beneath that. And you have to learn to access it. When you learn to access it, it weakens those deep dark things that many of us think define our secrets. You can learn how to access all these things ... they are not really your deepest secrets, they are your most personal and private deeds or thoughts. They are not secret to YOU.
Journaling is one way people accomplish learn. Daily meditation is another. Any way you choose to learn more about your soul and your spirit of awareness. I certainly do not want to know about your deepest secrets, and I'm not going to reveal mine. I'm just here to point out that you DO have them, just as we all do.
I will tell you this much, there are some deepest secrets that I have which I will never reveal to anyone ... and I mean no one. Some are dark and shameful, true. But some are bright and beautiful. The only other people who shared in any of these secrets are now dead, so those secrets can not be shared. And I'll never, ever tell. Because they are my burdens or treasures.
Some people insist that your 'besties' are the ones you should be sharing the deepest secrets with. The rationale is that they shouldn’t judge you, so you can really get things off your chest. The hope seems to be that you can open up and get to know each other on a deeper level.
I could not disagree more.
I have never confided one of my secrets to a friend, deepest secret or not, who did not pass that secret on to another, all the time with the oath of secrecy from that next friend. I was never stupid enough to tell anyone a really important secret, though. Nothing life-shattering, but some which did cause me some irritating and embarrassing circumstances in life. It did not take me long to learn to keep my gums from flapping.
However, if you want a list of some pretty mild things you could ASK a curious friend (and then tell them YOUR answer) which would pacify them and still keep a friendship secure ... I do have a list for you. Give a few of these a try if you simply MUST confide:
What's your favorite thing about being you?
Have you ever done something you really regret?
What's something you've never told anyone?
What's your silliest habit?
What's something you wish you could change?
What reality show do you wish you were on?
When do you feel lonely?
What have you cried about recently?
What's one thing you wish you could change about yourself?
What's a lie you've told?
And then be prepared to respond with your own answers. Have fun with these 'secrets.'
Now, I would give you a piece of important advice, here. Do NOT make this friend you engage in this little Q&A session with someone from where you work, unless you want the answers to your questions spread all over the workplace.
Your deepest secrets may not be what you think they are, and especially if alcohol is involved, you may just end up revealing more than you intended to when you began ... best to figure it out for yourself before you decide to let anyone else in on your life, because once something is said, you can NEVER take it back.
Darkmum
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